The Five Stages of Grief as Experienced in the Moments after Sending Out a Tweet with a Glaring Typo


The typo isn’t so bad, just something people will gloss over. People should still be able to understand the meaning of the tweet, right? No one will think my grasp on grammar is limited. No one will question whether English is my first language. People actually prefer typos because it humanizes you, shows them you can make errors like everyone else. Things will be fine and dandy.


FUCK!!!! Why didn’t I just fucking read over the stupid tweet before I hit send!? Fucking Twitter!!! Why can’t I edit my own tweet after I send it?! What kind of ancient system are you running here! I’m going to lose followers because of this typo, many, many followers!! I want this damned tweet back, why can’t I get it back?!?! I fucking hate my life.


Ok, ok… calm down. Maybe I can simply delete the tweet and resend it. Would that work? I could erase it from history and never worry about this typo again. The scar on my soul will be removed. But it’s already been sent out, people have already read it. Maybe I could send out a correction, humorously noting my typo, showing people I’m not an ignorant fool. But then I’d be pointing it out more. What can I do, there must be some solution to this, some way to make things right.


It’s no use, the tweet is out there, naked before the public, its typo hanging in the wind. Maybe I need to give up this Twitter thing, it’s just not for me. I can’t even send out a simple 140 character message without messing things up. I’m a worthless shell of a human being. Maybe I need to cut the cord entirely and never use the internet again. Run off into the woods… live in a cabin without electricity… hunt and gather like our ancient ancestors.


It’s merely a typo, and people will not care. It will flow through their timeline, they might notice it, they might not. I’ll have plenty of better tweets to send out in the future, ones that will be typo free! I can espouse more unnuanced righteousness about political issues or give updates on my cats. This typo won’t deter me, it will only make me stronger!